My goal to focus on the priest’s Sunday homily is paying off. He provides excellent inspiration for this blog. He stressed two points during last Sunday’s Mass.

The first point dealt with the gospel reading. The one where God divided people into two categories, the good on his right side and the bad on his left. He compared them to sheep (good) and goats (bad).

Photo by Bailey Mahon

This reading was meant to be metaphorical, analogical, symbolic, or whatever. Still, I couldn’t help but feel sad for the poor goats. Even though I’m Catholic, I warm to the Buddhist belief of compassion towards all animals, which led me to think about what mammal deserved to be on the bad side — something mean, ugly, despicable. There’s the skunk, capable of emitting the most noxious odor on the planet, but then they are so cute. My favorite stuffed toy when I was a child was a skunk. There’s the hyena, ugly to the point of deformity and vicious and bloodthirsty, but it’s just trying to survive on the African plains; why condemn it? So, I scratched all mammals off the bad list, followed by birds (difficult to corral since they can fly away), reptiles (snakes have a right to live in this world), and amphibians (sadly, they are quickly disappearing). I turned my attention into the invertebrate world: worms, insects, gastropods, etc.

Then it hit me. There is one animal that I despise. Luckily, it doesn’t live in Washington but runs rampant in Texas. I’m talking about the cockroach, sometimes called the water bug. Those creepy, crawly things that can grow the size of a newborn puppy, and when threatened, they fly and hiss. It’s difficult to even think about them without becoming nauseous. And forget about killing one. The sound of crunch and splat followed by the ooze of a yellowish goo has me screaming from the area. If I stepped on one, I’d have to burn my shoes. I can tolerate a fat tick easier than a disgusting cockroach. Message to God: “Spare the goat and condemn the cockroach.” Now, I must find out why the right side is good, and the left side is bad.

Photo by Nowshad Arefin on Unsplash

Our priest moved on to point two: spreading the good word. He challenged everyone to drop Jesus’s name in conversation. No problem when talking to a family member or close friend, but his challenge was to say His name to a stranger. The congregational gasp was loud enough to make the candle flames flutter. I started thinking about how I would do this casually. I live in a friendly town; people pleasantly chat simply because they recognize you even if they don’t know your name: checkers at the grocery store, postal employees at the PO, the waitstaff in restaurants—all friendly, nice folks. For example, a checker at one of the grocery stores always comments about my consumption of beets. So, the next time I check out with only a can of beets, I could ease into my name-dropping. “Beets are healthy. They help regenerate mitochondria (energy organelles in cells). So eating beets after a rigorous workout, like running a marathon or climbing a mountain, helps you recover faster.” (Although I prefer beer and chocolate, she doesn’t need to know that.) “Oh, and by the way, Jesus liked beets.” Or I could say, “Been talking to Jesus lately.” Nope, both sound too weird. But I managed it!

Photo by Dan Burton on Unsplash

I went into my favorite convenience store to buy wine. I know what you’re thinking, “She buys convenience store wine?” Well, the answer is yes. The price is right, and I like the taste—don’t judge me. Anyway, I sat my bottle on the counter and said, “Thanks for always stocking my favorite wine and letting it flow like Jesus did at the wedding feast at Cana.” I shocked the young clerk so badly that he gave me the wrong change. Once he found his voice, he said, “And you have a blessed day.” I happily skipped out of the store, feeling holy. I was also four cents richer.